7. Part of
the challenge of change is that we may intellectually
decide to change – telling ourselves that eating
more
healthy foods is a good thing, for example, or
that limiting
our Blackberry usage is a smart idea – but we
don’t
connect that change with a feeling that engages
the
Elephant.
Can you think of a way to connect a
change you
would like to make in your life with a feeling
that can
help to motivate the Elephant side of your
brain?
Can you think of situations in life where we try
to get
people to change with information, rather than
with
feeling?
To be more effective, how might we
approach
those situations differently?
How can this concept relate
to
your students?
A change I am working on making is eating healthier and losing weight. I look at the steps it is going to take to get there, but I feel if I would tie in my Elephant or emotions more then I might get a better result. If I were to work out and think of my kids and husband and how I am going to be healthier and more active for them, then maybe I could run that extra mile or put down that chocolate cake easier!
ReplyDeleteOne situation that comes to mind about getting people to change with information rather than feeling is the whole Common Core movement. We give teachers and administrators data, ideas, make plans, change curriculum, etc. and don't appeal to their Elephant at all! I know that is has been difficult for some teachers to switch and make this change. So to be more effective as administrators and leaders we need to figure out a way to target their Elephant and see some change.
I just got my blood work results back from the health fair. My cholesterol is very high and I know it’s mostly genetics, but I still need to adjust my lifestyle to bring it down. Bringing the ‘Elephant’ along will make changing my eating habits easier; my ‘Rider’ is all about knowing the dangers of high cholesterol and unhealthy eating, yet my ‘Elephant’ is all about using chocolate and chips to make me feel good! (Too bad they aren’t good for me!) Scare tactics don’t affect the Elephant, my want of the bad stuff is a stronger desire than the fright of health issues.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read about the approach needed to make changes, a particular student comes to mind. He is capable of completing all assignments; not necessarily to the same standards as other students, yet capable of doing something on each task. He absolutely hates homework! He works in class, but that’s the end of his effort. He does have a strong work ethic for his job and I believe he will be a successful adult after he leaves school. I’ve been trying to apply the Rider/Elephant ideas with him. Our first step, a small one in the change process is to hand in what work he completes in class. As we discussed today, five points out of ten is much better than no points.
I don't know if I am trying to make a change on anything particular at this time. Right now in my life I have 2 teenagers at home. The biggest challenge for my husband and I is to navigate through it with of our dignity and mental facilities in tact! For us to be patient and understanding with our children but at the same time staying true to our rules and beliefs as a family is definitely a challenge! (and a change, I guess, from when they were younger.) It's directing the rider (the rules and boundaries) and the elephant (the emotions and feelings) at the same time! Very tricky with a 16 year old daughter and a head-strong independent 13 year old son. On days when the elephant is in more control the kids seem to take advantage of the rules. On other days when the rider is more in control there can be tears and great frustration!
ReplyDeleteAt school; I had a 3 year re-eval IEP earlier this week. The student has struggles with appropriate study skills habits/behaviors. At the meeting I used the "bright spots" method from chapter 2. I asked him what was his favorite class/teacher. Then I asked him to give me specific examples as to why that class/teacher is his favorite. I took what he said and in a general email to all of his teachers, thanking the ones who attended his meeting, I listed the things the student told me that made that class and teacher his favorite. I did not mention the class name or teacher. Instead of telling his teachers things that they could improve on I passed on to them his bright spots. We will see if it works! My goal is for his teachers to take his suggestions and incorporate them into their class hopefully prompting him to put forth more effort in their class. (Of course this went both ways, the teachers told him what he needed to do to make improvements on his end.) This hopefully will touch the elephant(behavior/motivation/effort) as well as the rider who tries to direct the academics.
I am trying to eat healthier. I find myself eating the chicken nuggets and tator tots I feed my 4 and 2 year old. I know that it is important for me to eat healthier, but I give into my elephant because I am tired and don't want to make something else and create more dishes. I need to find a way to have balance of having healthier food, but still have time to rest at the end of my day.
ReplyDeleteOur school is on an improvement plan with the state. We have specific goals we have to meet in order to get off of watch. As part of the Guided Coalition to work towards this, I know we let the staff know we are making changes and the data and research why, but we do neglect to reach out to their elephants. This does result in backlash and teachers not wanting to help in the change.
I am with the 5th grade team this year and we have a group of boys that really struggle socially and with behavior in the classroom. We can preach to them all day about why education is important, but they don't care about their grades or learning. We also discipline them in hopes they would start to change. I think if we can reach their elephants, we may have some impact in change. One way we are working on that is the behavior specialist and myself are starting a community service group with these boys that will repair bikes and donate them back to the community. We hope this will help connect to their elephants.
A few years ago I had decided my New Years resolution was to loose weight. I remember being very dedicated and counting my calories and daily exercise. Then I would get on my scales and the opposite affect was happening I was gaining weight. I can remember I was always feeling hungry and was tired so off to the doctor I went. I can remember sitting there almost in tears showing my doctor my food and exercise log and saying I have gained 10lbs in a month what is wrong with me. Further investigation found that I had a hidden form of pre-diabetis. With help from some medication and my hard dedication that I had to get both the Elephant and Rider in the same basket or be on medication or possibly worse insulin the rest of my life I was able to get the weight off and get off the main medication through just diet and exercise. I remember what the feeling of being healthy and buying new clothes was like.
ReplyDeleteThis past month I had a new student join our group. This child wants to do nothing but cry and refuse to work yet in further investigation when he is made to have a consequence like staying in at recess to do his work he is capable of a lot more than one would think. A motivation that has been found is he LOVES getting stickers. So in an effort to get him to not cry during class time and do the work vs have a negative consequence when he shows he is a big boy and joins us in class without crying he can have a sticker at the end of the 20 min reading group. We have now made it 4 days in a row earning a sticker and no tears. At this time if I can just get him to join us in class in a positive manner I will take it and we will work on getting the concepts down another day.
One change that I need to make is spending less time on electronics. My eye doctor has told me that because of the time I spend on the computer/ipad/phone my eyes have gotten worse. This is difficult because I have to spend much of my time completing work on the computer and ipad, but I also spend leisure time on electronics as well. My rider understands that it is bad for my eyes, but my elephant isn't motivated to change my habits. I could put a picture of glasses or blurry words at home somewhere close to my electronics as a reminder to try to motivate the elephant side of my mind.
ReplyDeleteDiet is one area where information is used to get people to change, and a person really doesn't change their ways unless they feel bad enough about their physical shape for motivation. Until their emotions are at a point where they will make sacrifices day in and day out for a continued amount of time, their rider won't be successful. Experiences like having all their clothes too tight, not liking their reflection in the mirror, being winded going up the stairs could motivate their elephant to make the change for good.
My students could be motivated to use their speech by using positive reinforcement to engage the their elephant. When a child can not be understood by others, it can be frustrating for them. Young children don't really get motivated by numbers or information. If they experience some success communicating, this may lead to motivation to continue to improve.
The basement in my house is unfinished and as a result it has become a place to stash anything and everything. I want to get it cleaned out and organized, but don't have anything to motivate my elephant. The only time I seem to be motivated to do something about it is when a repairman is coming and will need to work down there. Even though that is becoming less of a motivation as emergency repairs have been needed and I haven't died because others have seen how disorganized it is. Maybe I need to establish a basement completion fund. Then I would have to clean out the basement so it could be finished.
ReplyDeleteI have analyzed various state assessment scores and other test scores to see where students or curriculum are falling short or where they are having success. I have presented the data to principals and teachers and had them look at me with a glazed, uninterested look. The data alone is not motivating their elephants. If I can remember to address both their rider and elephant, hopefully they will make some changes that impact student learning.
The information about Common Core has included lots of analytical type of information presented “logically”. In some cases, parents feel like they have been left out of the information loop and are not on board when they see some of the actual curriculum. This is an example where the “Rider” has been emphasized and the “Elephant” left out.
ReplyDeleteIn having the goal of exercising more, I try to focus on the joy I get when I am outside working or walking and remind myself that in the past I have just “bundled up” in my Dad or my Uncles insulated coat (that alone gives me a warm feeling) and spent some time outside.
One of my students is experiencing some natural consequences at work study by working at the local hardware. This is his first “non-family” job. His job has expectations, but has also been asked to work on Saturdays; so he has the reward of money earned and the “elephant” is involved because he is wanted and valued.
One change I need to make in my life is to clean and organize my garage. I have not had the motivation to get it done. I know I would feel great accomplishment if I could get it finished. I need to find a way to incorporate the elephant to get started.
ReplyDeleteI feel the leaders in my district used the Rider without the Elephant to make changes for common core. Many teachers are tired and cannot imagine making one more change. There might have been less resistance if the elephant had been incorporated into the many trainings that have been attended by the staff.
I feel my older students would make better improvements in their communication skills if the elephant was more engaged. I can see the satisfaction on my younger students' faces when they finally make the correct sound they have been working towards. The elephant is engaged, students try harder, and skills improve more quickly.
I need to improve my "good" cholesterol, according to my doctor it is not too bad, but my numbers should be higher. The way to do this is exercise. I need to find a way to become excited about improving a number that essentially means nothing to me. I am trying to make small changes in the amount of exercise I do. I am trying to walk places rather than drive. I need to find a way to stay motivated when it gets really cold!
ReplyDeleteI think teachers always try to make changes in students intellectulally. It is easier to bring emotions into the mix when the kids are young. I work with a little guy that perhaps has too much emotional involvement in his learning to read. He is pretty tough on himself when he struggles with words or sounds.
Another student I work with has no emotional investestment in his learning. Authentic praise for effort and success do not mean anything to him and he does not remember things from day to day. I am struggling to motivate him.
(Mary S.) Currently my house has "gotten away" from me. I can't seem to get it cleaned / straightened up like I would like because I can only get through the jobs that absolutely need to be done. I know it would make me feel better if I "could make it happen". I keep trying to do "just a little bit each evening" in hopes of making a difference.
ReplyDeleteI have a student that seems to be unmotivated about almost everything he is asked to do/complete in school and at home (according to parents). I am trying to remember to NOT react to the non-participation, preparation, etc. and positively reinforce him when he does choose to do something. This seems to help, at least somewhat.
A skill that I am always trying to improve is to be a better listener......I mean really listen to what my husband, friends and my own children are saying. Giving them time to express themselves without interrupting, giving advice or trying to solve their problem...just be present and listen. When my middle school daughter comes to me to chat, I repeatedly tell myself "just listen, just listen, just listen" but then what do you know but my mouth opens up and I say something "lame" (per my middle schooler). My rider is a great reminder but is being overpowered by my bad habits! A couple of weeks ago, I think I was too honest with my sweet girl and her feelings were hurt. Now my elephant is helping to keep my mouth shut (just remembering the feelings I had and the look on her face!)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more that change is much more likely to happen when the elephant is involved. When I do home visits, I generally find that parents are more likely to carry out my strategies than daycare providers. Likewise, if I find out what's important to parents (their concerns, goals for their child), they are more likely to follow through than if I tried to totally direct the home visit. When I can appeal to the elephant side....I see better participation.
I think that I can connect many changes in my life to feelings. When working towards change, the end feeling is sometimes hard to imagine, thus, driving our rider is easier to do than motivating our elephant. As an elementary level teacher, we try to engage the elephant constantly. Some of us bribe children with rewards for hard work. A huge highlight in my classroom is asking students how they feel when they have worked really hard, or done something that took a lot of effort. Asking students to reflect on their feelings is huge in helping them to appreciate the benefits of working hard. This ties into how we can help children make changes with regards to their elephants. For example, my first graders have just began spelling. I asked every single one of them if they felt ready for their test, how they felt after their test, and how they feel now that they are working hard again. I truly think that simple discussion can really engage the elephant…highlight the "correct" words and look towards the next week of words rather than focusing on "wrong" words.
ReplyDeleteAs for a personal change, I am having a hard time pinpointing what is not changing in my life. I am in a new community, a new job, new friends, and new experiences. I really feel that the change I am making is becoming more involved with the community. Since moving here, I have helped on committees, teams, sporting events, and even the high school musical. All things that I have never really done… and it is satisfying! I can tell you that the musical was much more amazing to me after I had built relations with those involved than it would have been if I had never met any of the students.
One thing that I always say I need to change and I just can't seem to motivate myself to do is exercise. I always think it would be a great idea...I start doing it...and then I slack off. Every.Single.Time. I can't figure out why I can't stick with it. My rider knows that it is what needs to be done; however, I can't get my elephant to buy in. I recently started doing Zumba twice a week. It has been really good for me. My rider loves that I am following through with what is needed, and my elephant is starting to agree. I took a week off last week (for lots of reasons), I'm just hoping that I can get back into it this next week.
ReplyDeleteI think that at school, everyone is in information overload about the CCCRS. Information is everywhere: school, the news, Facebook, teacher blogs and forums, etc. I think that everyone knows that a change is needed, but there is no emotional connection for that change. General Education teachers have a lot on their plates (as do we) and they comnpletely stress about the one more thing that they have to do. I think that once there is an emotional connection to the CCCRS, it might work better.
I have a student that is probably the most unmotivated student I have ever encountered. He has no home support what so ever, and is absent so much. We had just gotten him all caught up with his missing work, and he was gone again for almost 2 weeks. I have given him all the information about why being at school is important and why keeping up on his work is important, but it just doesn't help much. He feels really good about himself when he is caught up, but then he misses school again and he has to start over. It's frustrating for everyone involved.
Change is hard but really what the person is trying to change will determine how successful they will be. I think something small in a persons life will be easier to change vs something someone has been doing for awhile and like it but know there could be another way to be successful. I am still adapting to an environment which has forced me to change on the way I live. My elephant might not want me to change but it has no choice but to think definitely.
ReplyDeleteI think when I am talking to people about what I have learned through my Master's people just look at me but I need to show and get them excited about what they could do when implementing something new. I feel younger teachers are willing to try anything and the older teachers like how they teach and do not want to change. I think this does have to do with how we were taught in school. When I was attending college classes we learned so many programs and ways to teach that we are more diverse in that aspect. I wish everyone could look at change in a good way and see where we could take are students.
To finish my thought... I think we need to allow everyone to play an active role in the change and not just relay on a few teachers to tell use what is coming down the chain.
DeleteI've always wanted to be more healthy and more fit and active, but sometimes it's really hard to find the motivation to get up and go work out and eat better. It has been easier to change since I have had my daughter because I want her to have healthy eating habits and I want to be able to keep up with her as she gets bigger and is more active. This is the first time since high school that I have been able to stick with my goal of being healthier and more active.
ReplyDeleteI have a student that I would love to have change - don't we all have that one!! However, I can tell him the facts that he is not going to graduate if he doesn't pass his classes; he isn't going to pass his classes if he doesn't do any of his homework, assignments, or passes any tests, etc; but until I find what motivates him emotionally - I'm stuck!
Change is so much easier if emotion is involved, if it matters to you or is important you are more likely to do things to make the change happen. Once you are able to start seeing a difference in your life then it is easier to continue to make the positive change. A change that I have been working on is doing better following my budget to get my student loans paid off. Sometimes it is so hard to say know to fun things but if I am able to connect my elephant and see the end result then it is easier to say no to smaller things to reach that big goal in the end.
ReplyDeleteIn order to make a change successful you need an emotional motivation. i think of a student I have that has behavior issues at school. I talk to him about his behaviors and until I realized something he really wanted that made an emotional connection to his behavior then it was impossible to get him to stop and think before reacting. Seeing his behaviors down on paper was a motivator for him because he knew that what was written on his paper mom would see and she would take away his reward at home. Sometimes its small things that need to be done in order to help someone see the results.
I need to get out and be more me time. I get so caught up doing work, college classes, and daily life (laundry, dishes) that I don't get out do anything fun for what seems like forever. But if I don't plan it in I don't get it done. I know it would help with stress and make me healthier. I have a student with behavior problems. I have tried all kinds of motivation and talking to him. He sees the benefits and wants to do better, but can't always seem to control himself not to do the behavior. The students does better with extreme short rewards and many reminders. I have to keep reminding the student that things will be better if the behavior gets better.
ReplyDelete